YOU WIPE THE SWEAT FROM YOUR BROW. THE SUN BEATS DOWN ON YOU, PRESSING ITS MOLTEN HOT BALLSACK FIRMLY AGAINST THE BACK OF YOUR NECK. THERE'S NO TIME FOR BREAKS. TOMORROW MORNING THERE WILL BE HUNDREDS OF LOCAL TOWNSFOLK IN A LINE THAT STRETCHES FAR OFF INTO THE HORIZON. JUST LIKE LAST SEASON, AND THE SEASON BEFORE THAT; STRETCHING A LITTLE FURTHER EACH TIME. EVERY YEAR, THEY ALWAYS COME, AS PREDICTABLE AS APRIL RAIN. THESE FIELDS MAY NOT HAVE LOOKED LIKE MUCH A FEW WEEKS AGO, BUT AS EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN HAS LEARNED OVER THE YEARS, YOU'RE AN IMPRESSIVE GROWER. NOW IT'S HARVEST TIME. YOU'RE ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES, GRIPPING WITH BOTH HANDS AND TUGGING YOUR BEAUTIFUL CROPS STRAIGHT FROM MOTHER NATURE'S SWEET EARTHHOLES. THICK, VEINY CUCUMBERS. LONG, GIRTHY SWEET POTATOES. CORNCOBS RIBBED WITH PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL ROWS OF PLUMP KERNELS. EACH AND EVERY ONE, A MASTERPIECE. A LOT OF IT IS OWED TO THE SOIL, TENDED WITH SKILL AND PATIENCE OVER THREE GENERATIONS OF FINE, HARDWORKING MEN. ALSO THE SECRET FAMILY KNOWLEDGE OF SOWING SEED, PASSED DOWN FROM YOUR FATHER, WHO WAS A MASSIVE GROWER. BUT MOSTLY IT'S THE SCARECROWS, WHO COME TO LIFE AT NIGHT, WANDERING THE FIELDS AND CHASING AWAY ANYONE SNEAKING IN TO CREAM YOUR CORN. EVEN WITH THIS AUTUMN'S BOUNTY, IT'LL BARELY BE ENOUGH. ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU ALWAYS SAVE A FEW OF THE LONGEST AND JUICIEST ONES - SO YOU CAN FEED THEM TO YOUR ASS. NOTHING MAKES YOUR ASS HAPPIER THAN GOBBLING UP AN ENTIRE COB OF CORN, OR SLURPING UP A CUCUMBER LIKE A FAT MAN EATING SPAGHETTI. EVEN AFTER ENDURING YEARS OF INTENSE PLOWING, YOUR ASS STILL ISN'T TOO WORN OUT. IT'S LONELY, THOUGH. LONG NIGHTS SPENT ALONE. ITS ONLY COMPANIONSHIP, THE FAMILIAR TOUCH OF YOUR HAND. BUT A FARM NEEDS MORE THAN JUST A SINGLE DONKEY, SO YOU PROMISED HIM NEXT SEASON, YOU'LL GRAB A FEW COCKS. YOU QUICKLY SELL OUT EVERY YEAR, BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. THAT'S NOT WHY YOU DO IT, THAT'S JUST A NICE LITTLE BONUS. WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THE JOY YOU GET FROM GIVING THE TOWNSFOLK SOMETHING THAT MAKES THEM TRULY HAPPY. NOTHING BEATS THE MOMENT YOU SEE A BIG SMILE SPREADING THEIR CHEEKS. EVEN AFTER WATCHING THEM LEAVE WITH SO MUCH EXCITEMENT IN THEIR EYES, THE REAL FUN STARTS WHEN THEY GET HOME. ONCE THE SUN GOES DOWN, YOU CAN HEAR THE ENTIRE TOWN'S SCREAMS OF PLEASURE THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT. AND WHATEVER THEY'RE DOING WITH THAT GLORIOUS PRODUCE SMELLS AMAZING.
